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Showing posts from May, 2013

Listening to Children

Listening to your spouse can be difficult. Listening to your children? Who'd have thought that was just as important? Yet, though children are not "miniature adults" they are in need of empathy and understanding like the rest of us.

Steps

#1. Lower your defensiveness. Sometimes when a child is frustrated or upset, we have the tendency to personalize it. However, most of the time, it has nothing to do with you but something that may have bothered them elsewhere. If you can't listen objectively to your child because you've had a hard day, that's o.k. Take some time and come back to the issue. Your little one will appreciate it.

#2. Use feeling words and keep it simple. Kids don't like to be lectured to. This is good news since adults are usually more worn out after the lecture than the child is. A simple and effective way to respond is, "You feel ______. That must be _____." Good feeling words are: upset, discouraged, embarrassed, happy, encouraged…